Bancuri Internationale (5)
Aceasta e o colectie de bancuri din mai multe tari si in mai multe limbi 
...
O romanca, la produs in Italia, este acostata noaptea de un client.
El: - Cat e scurtu'?
Ea: - 50 Euro. O baga in masina, ii da banii si isi face treaba.
A doua noapte, figura se repeta...
a treia noapte la fel...
In a patra noapte...
fata se uita la el si il intreaba:
- Auzi ma, da tu de unde esti ca parca te cunosc?
El: - Din Romania.
Ea: - Ce coincidenta, si eu la fel!
De unde din Romania?
El: - Din Dobroiesti.
Ea: - Ce coincidenta, si eu la fel!
EL: - Coincidenta pa ma-ta... Mi-a dat tactu' 500 de euro pentru tine,
dar mi-a zis sa nu ti-i dau toti odata, ca-i cheltui...
Publicat in
Bancuri Internationale
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
Publicat in
Bancuri Internationale
A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9
year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover
in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The
little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go
outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
Father - "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that ...that
is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church
and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again".
Publicat in
Bancuri Internationale
Je m'appelle Vasile Mure
Je vien de la padure
Je gasi nevasta-n pat
Se couche cu-n alt barbat
Quand je preparai ciomagu'
Mon amie sarise gardu'
Il tombeau dans la urzici
Sur son cur numai basici ...
Publicat in
Bancuri Internationale
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to seven, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said her mom.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to F, but I said it to J. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her noticeably embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 25."
Publicat in
Bancuri Internationale
